I got a call last Sunday afternoon. It was from my buddy in the National Guard.
Guard Buddy: I just had a tmfw moment.
Me: A what?
GB: You know. The kind of crazy shit that happens to you kind of moment.
Me: Congratulations! What happened?
GB: I get a call on the cell phone here at Camp Robinson. I notice a 228 area code. Remember when I was deployed down there after Katrina?
GB: Remember that lady that worked for one of the cellular providers down there that got us all those phones?
GB: It was her. I guess she saved my number in her phone. Anyway, she called me saying she had some legal problems.
GB: Said she needed to retain me to sue Breaking Benjamin.
GB: Breaking Benjamin. They are an indie band. You'd know 'em if you had a teenager in the house.
Me: OK. Why does she want to sue a band?
GB: They are stalking her.
GB: Yeah and her husband is believing all those lies that they are telling him. That's why she had to go to the psych ward.
Me: Breaking Benjamin.....
Me: How did you get out of this conversation?
GB: I told her that she needed to hire a Louisiana lawyer.
GB: What? Are you crazy?
Me: I don't think so....
GB: They are all in cahoots with her husband and Breaking Benjamin.
Me: Every lawyer in Louisiana.
Me: How did you end it?
GB: I just told her that I would have to think on it and call her back. That seemed to pacify her and she hung up.
Me: Did she seem crazy when you were down there?
GB: She was no crazier than anything else that was going on at the time. Maybe I just didn't catch it. But I just wanted to report that I finally experienced a tmfw moment.
Me: Lucky you. My life has gotten a lot easier since the advent of caller ID. I suggest that you keep an eye out for any further calls from the Baton Rouge area.
GB: I have some advice for you too.
GB: Don't listen to any Breaking Benjamin. That shit'll make you crazy.