Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Sunday Sports Page


There was a lot going on the world of sports last night. Let's get started with the oldest story in sports writing: The Chicago Cubs will not be going to the World Series for the 100th year.
The Specific Gravity Of Futility- The Cubs managed to get swept last night by the Arizona Diamondbacks. Let's put this in some perspective: The Diamondbacks got outscored by their opponents during the regular season. They also had the lowest team batting average in the National League. Way to bring the "A" game Cubbies!
The Cubs Nation will long debate the wisdom of Lou Pinella lifting Carlos Zambrano in the 6th inning of Game One (it is never "the first game." That's not portentous-or pretentious for that matter-enough.) to save him for a Game Four that will never happen. This was a move that in the crystalline view of retrospect will be long considered a screw-up of Grady Littlesque proportions.
Let's look at the Big Picture, though I willingly concede that this is difficult for Cub fans to do. No Cub fan even at his most delusional-and I include my brother John in this number-could have predicted that this bunch would have won the Division. Lou Pinella weaned the Cubs of their toxic addiction to the oft-injured Mark Prior and Kerry Woods. Even without Prior and Woods, pitching staff held together and they got production up and down the lineup. Indeed, the pitching pretty much held up in the playoffs. It was the Cubs' bats that picked the worst time in hell to go inert.
As far as I can tell, they have every reason to believe that they will be a favorite to return to the playoffs. How many times in a lifetime can your average Cub fan say that? So chill. As Jack Brickhouse said, " Anybody can have a bad century."
There Is A God- Stanford beat Southern Cal last night in Los Angeles, thereby restoring hope for the future in the Dukes and Tulanes of this life.
And He Smileth Not On The Razorbacks- I figured there was trouble brewing as I walked from my house to J's last night. The Razorbacks were down at War Memorial playing host to the Tennessee-Chattanooga Mocs. The air was notable for the lack of sound coming the base of the hill. Saturday nights in Little Rock are typically pretty raucous.
The second clue that things were amiss came around 7:30. We had walked up to a local restaurant to watch the start of the LSU game. We had just sat down when the place started filling up with disgruntled Hog fans. Turns out they had reason to be disgruntled. The Hogs stumbled around and beat the lowly Mocs 34-15 in a game they should have won by 30 or 40.
If they were a good team, that is. Which it is clear they are not.
Things are not going well up on the hill. Before the game plane was seen over the stadium trailing a banner that read " There's Nuttin' Like Being 0-2 In The SEC!" I walked home around 9:30 or so. I saw 3 drunk girls stumbling arm and arm ahead of me on Spruce Street. They were chanting "Nutt sucks Dick!" a completely witless phrase that nonetheless succinctly express the displeasure of these young fans with coach Houston Nutt and his hapless quarterback Casey Dick.
And as if it wasn't bad enough to struggle to beat a team that Tulane would have shellacked, they managed to get Darren McFadden hurt in the process. He bruised a rib. I bruised a rib once. It was excruciating. It still hurts me from time to time. A bruised rib on a then 49 year old lawyer is one thing. A bruised rib on a running back is quite another thing. A bruised rib on a running back that constitutes 80% of what passes (you should pardon the use of the word in conjunction with the Razorbacks)for your offense and you have the potential for a disaster.
Next Saturday they take on an Auburn team that has won two in a row and will be looking to avenge the ass-kicking the Hogs put on them last year at their place. It says here that they will exact that revenge. Well, it would be revenge if Arkansas were any good. Which they are not.

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