Patriots, Eagles and Wings

We suppose that we are somehow obligated to make a prediction about Super Bowl XXIXXXIXXXIXXXXIXXXIIIIXIXX or whatever the hell it is by now. We have been reluctant to do so mainly because we are always wrong about these matters. But we are also depressed. We are old enough to vividly remember Super Bowl I.

First, an aside about this year's halftime "entertainment." It is our understanding that Paul McCartney will be performing. We usually don't even bother watching most halftime shows and we shall return to that practice now that we know Sir Paul will be featured. But even we were aghast at last year's event which resembled an open casting call for "Boys in the Hood" as much as a halftime show. This is despite missing the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" as the Significant Other and I were making fajitas at the time. Sir Paul is safe as farm buttermillk by comparison. Never mind that he pretty much sucks. With his pleasant voice and still boyish "Hi Mum" looks, McCartney isn't likely to throw the FCC into a screaming hissy with bells which is all that matters to the suits at the NFL.

Concerning the game itself, suffice it to say that if flapping gums and woofing constitutes preparation the Eagles will win by 2 touchdowns. Underachieving punk Freddie Mitchell has called out the New England secondary. Not to be outdone, known man of prayer Terrell Owens has claimed that God has intervened in human history to render sufficient healing to his fractured leg despite the fact that his surgeon refused to clear him to play.

Some people have raised the question as to whether the Eagles have the ethical obligation to hold Owens out for his own good. Ethics, shmethics. This is the NFL where General Managers would run over their mothers to get a win. Hell, Al Davis has probably sacrificed infants. If Owens can get out there without a walker he will play. Trust us on this one.

We at TMFW don't claim to be experts on NFL football. Until the playoffs we had not watched a single game in it's entirety. But it seems to us that both defenses are pretty damn salty and should do a pretty good job shutting down the run. Noone has run on the Eagles all year and 2 weeks ago the Patriots stuffed Jerome Bettis on 4th and 1, which is like unto stopping a runaway barge.

We think Andy Reid's unwillingness or inability to tell Owens to sit for the good of the team will come back to bite him on the ass. If Owens is in the game, the Eagles' wideouts might revert to their alligator-armed ways when they are not basically standing around a la the Los Angeles Lakers waiting for TO to make a play. On the other hand, New England's receivers have been pretty good all year. Unheralded even. And as wondrous as is Donavan McNabb, he can't catch his own passes.

So, do the long suffering fans of Philadelphia, the narcissitic football equivalent of the followers of the Cubs and the Red Sox, finally get their championship? Or does the Lombardi Trophy return to Beantown, to be displayed next to the Red Sox's World Series hardware?

We say the nod goes to the Patriots. New England by 7 in a low scoring game. Owens will be a non-factor. Freddie Mitchell will get knocked out much to our amusement.

And Paul McCartney will do a medly of lame-ass stuff from his Wings phase.