"God, I hate Christmas music."
The words just flew out of my mouth as Jenny and I were sliding into our booth at a popular eatery down by the river.
I don't even remember what Muzak infected jingle was befouling my airspace.
"Well, for somebody that hates Christmas music you sure have done a ton of it in your day," she replied.
Now there's a woman for you. If a woman knows you as well as Jenny knows me, they delight in taking a perfectly good inflammatory remark, generally leavened by such cuss words as are appropriate to the occasion, and turning it around it in a misguided attempt to provide some perspective. Or, as I suspect in the case of my dear Jenny, they do it in an attempt to provoke further discomfort.
I refused to take the bait.
" We are heartily sorry for these our misdoings," I muttered, remembering the words of the old Methodist communion liturgy.
As many of you know, I really have very little use for Christmas. And usually, long about this time, I have written my usual anti-Christmas screed. I may not have to do it as my man Christopher Hitchens went thermonuclear on the subject yesterday in Slate magazine. Hitchens, who for his bomb throwing prose style is surprisingly soft spoken and unfailingly polite in person, likens the ubiquity of holiday music to be akin to the pervasive iconography of a totalitarian state where escape from the Dear Leader is impossible.
I think that's a little over the top. I believe that a considerable number of misguided souls actually like Christmas music, even when you consider that " The Little Drummer Boy' and the even more odious "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" are part of the canon. Muzak does not make money by being stupid. So it plays music that the general public wants to hear, soreheads like me and Hitch notwithstanding. Bidness is bidness. Simple as that.
I still have an "I hate Christmas" post coming. But if I don't get around to it this season Hitchens' rant will do nicely.
Until then, have a holly jolly Christmas. Please do.
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2 comments:
For those who wonder if Rudolph was really a camel, what was burning in the shepherd's fire that caused them to see angels on "high," and why the wise men weren't just called "the guys who came really late to the party," maybe B.A.H. stands for Be A Hoot.
BAH-Humbug.
I'm not a fan of tacky music either but Hitchens' article is over the top--I say more here:
http://www.prophezei.com/?p=525
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