Sunday, October 05, 2008

Oh, Cub Fans. It Happened Again.


Do you remember Otis Campbell, the town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show? Otis would go on the wagon from time-to-time only to embark upon a periodic bender of titanic proportions.
On those occasions when, in the memorable prose of Dan Jenkins, Otis would "make friends with whiskey" he would check himself into the Mayberry jail to sleep it off.
And the next day, Andy's Aunt Bea would show up at the jail with breakfast in a picnic basket and say to Otis, with naught but Christian Charity in her voice, " Oh Otis. It happened again." To which Otis would always reply, " What a mess I've made of my life."
Of course, nowadays Otis would be considered to be a candidate for an intervention and Bea and Andy would be considered enablers. It is only appropriate to adopt the sterile language of the recovery industry when discussing the unhealthy relationship between the Cubs and their fans.
When the Cubs clinched the division last month, my brother John gave me the laundry list of why "This Year Would Be Different." Some were the usual romantic, if not entirely hallucinatory, stuff to which the average Cub fan must cling to in order to get through yet another season. But most of his reasons for post-season optimism centered around Pitching and Hitting.
Of which the Cubs did precious damn little in their 3 game choke job of a series against the Los Angeles Dodger. They scattered 6 runs over 3 games. You can't beat anybody hitting that poorly. Unless your pitching staff happens to be the 1969 Mets that is. Secondly, their pitching staff resembled me throwing at the players' bats at Miracle League. And when the Cubbies weren't giving up dingers, the fielding-long an issue with the Cubs in the post-season-was beyond atrocious. They made 4 errors in one inning in Game 2. I've seen soccer teams boot fewer balls.
There is no joy at the intersection of Clark and Addison because yes, Cub fans, it happened again. But all is not lost. You have the long, cold winter to sleep it off while visions of playoff competence dance in your heads.
And once again, the immortal words of Jack Brickhouse come to mind, as they did at precisely this time last year: " Hey shake it off. Anybody can have a bad hundred years."
Trace it, face it, erase it, Cubs Nation. What a mess you have made of your baseball life.

5 comments:

Polycarp said...

George Will said pretty much the same thing early in the season, explaining the concept of irrational exuberance: "This is your brain. This is your brain on Cubs."

Anonymous said...

Screw both of you and George Will but especially you two

tmfw said...

Oh let me guess who this is.....

trinalovesneworleans said...

It's the classic abusive relationship pattern. The passion, the when-it's-good-it's-sooo-good, the sudden literal/figurative crushing blow, the denial, the irrational belief that the abusive partner will change his/her ways... an endless cycle. And now that the Cubs fans have seen that it is possible to break an 86-year curse, they're doomed.

tmfw said...

As a member of the board of the local women's shelter, I find your analysis to be prescient.

But I like my alcoholic/enabler example as well.