Sunday, August 08, 2010

My Sunday Feeling

The demure and coquettish blond whose image graces this post is Karen Sypher. She has appeared in these chronicles before along with Louisville Cardinals head basketball coach Rick Petino whose pic has been inset close to Karen's long legs. Sypher just got convicted by a Federal jury of extorting Pitino, tampering with a witness and lying to the FBI. She could catch @ 25 years for her trouble but as a first time offender who didn't commit a violent crime she will undoubtedly catch much less.

Pitino used to be discussed in these pages solely in the context of sports. Now he will forevermore be linked to Sypher due to certain ill advised activity he undertook with her with his pants off. A brief retelling of the story is in order.
Our hero was in an Italian restaurant having drinks with associates late one night when he was approached by Sypher. She wanted him to say 'hello" to her son on her cell phone. He gave her some tickets. OK. Fine. This kind of stuff happens all the time with celebrities of all stripes. Here's where things get murky. Associates leave. Petino and Sypher have some drinks. It's late. Owner of restaurant tells Petino he can let himself out.

This has happened to you before right? Last call, folks. I'm leaving.

Anyway, Petino and Sypher do the Big Nasty on the floor of the joint. And they say romance is dead. Here's where things start to go downhill mighty fast for the leader of young men. A month or so later Sypher tells Petino she's pregnant. Needs 3 grand. He says it's for medical insurance. She says it's for an abortion. And thus begins the extortionate behavior that Karen Sypher ramped up in earnest some 5 years later.
Sypher claims she was raped that fateful night in the restaurant, a claim that the Louisville cops discard out-of-hand.. She begins demanding millions in hush money. She wants college tuition for her kids. She wants her car paid off. A lawyer she is screwing around with sends a demand letter. Like an idiot.
When Sypher's mother calls one night wondering where the money is, Petino decides this can't be brushed under the rug any longer and he and his lawyer make an appointment with the FBI. And thus begins the criminal investigation that ends with the former model looking at a stretch in prison and Rick Petrino being forever branded a fool.

I have long had a theory about this kind of trouble. I think men who have been married for many years lose the innate capacity to know crazy when they see it. I am happy to say that my crazy radar is pretty good at this stage in my life although I confess that it was faulty to non-existent in my younger years. My life is boring in th extreme nowadays. Boring is good.

The down side to crazy is a lot more down than the up side is up when a gentleman reaches a certain age and station in life. In Rick's case, while he has a considerable reputation for being a classless dick, it was believed he always kept it in his pants. Now this. He had to confess to his wife. He had to confess to his church that he may have, albeit unwittingly, facilitated an abortion. He instantly became the butt of jokes throughout the sport of basketball. A guy like Pitino can stand being despised. Being laughed at has got to hurt.
And as if it were not bad enough to be forever linked in the public record with the likes of Karen Sypher because of a moment's indiscretion, his testimony about the incident will be forever writ large upon history's immortal scroll as well.
How did it start? " She opened my pants."

Did you have sex? " Yes, briefly. About 15 seconds."

Ouch. That last one won't be chanted by the fans over in Lexington will it?

"15 seconds! 15 seconds!" I can hear it now.

Whither human dignity?

My buddy Don said, " This is the kinda bad shit that can happen when you step out on your wife."

Stepping out on your wife is bad enough. Stepping out on your wife with somebody that's smooth running crazy is even stupider. Indeed, every woman who has commented to me about her pictures on the Internet has pretty much said, " You can tell just by looking at her she's crazy." Further, the good folks at Deadspin have some pics which you can see on the link provided about which I offer no further commentary:
And as Sypher's soon to be ex-husband succinctlytold the jury, "She's nuts."

Petino's lack of a crazyometer in his head cost him severely. He's not the first married man to make a mistake. And he won't be the last. His was just the rare indiscretion that they turned into a federal case.

And Sypher? She's got a sentencing date coming up. So naturally she tells the Louisville paper that she knew she would never get a fair trial in Louisville. The day after she was found guilty! That sound you heard from the East was her attorney hitting himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. Published remarks such as these are not helpful going into the sentencing hearing as they don't exactly evidence heartfelt remorse for the conduct that got her into this fix. Which is what judges kinda want to see.

Like the man said. She's nuts. 15 seconds, huh? Way to go, Rick.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If I am the Don referred to, I am certain that whatever I said was more elegantly phrased.