My Sunday Feeling

Here are some random thoughts while wondering if it is ever going to quit raining around here.

David Vitter: One of the characters in Nelson Algren's " A Walk on the Wild Side"is the madam of a brothel in New Orleans. In one scene she discusses the clientele that frequents her place of business. I can't lift the quote verbatim, because someone, someone who is reading these words, has my copy of the novel.

Anyway, in the scene I am thinking of she says something along the lines of " I don't think there's anything wrong with a man relaxing with a woman and some whiskey on a Saturday night. What I do mind is when they preach against it on Sunday morning or prosecute it on Monday morning."

You could cut the schadenfreude with a knife in most Democratic circles when it was revealed last week that United States Senator David Vitter of Louisiana had called the number of Deborah Jean Palfrey, the so-called "D.C. madam." He 'fessed up to a so-called "inappropriate relationship" with a New Orleans escort who ran a bawdy house over on Canal Street with her mother of all goddamn people.

I guess that sort of family business attracted a "family values" sort of john like Vitter. And if that was not sufficiently humiliating, a third woman, this one with Arkansas ties, for which we may all be justifiably proud, has been outed by an old boyfriend as having rented some in the past to the good Senator.

I have to say that I can't get too worked up about this. My position concerning the Monica Lewinsky mess was that although I thought Bill Clinton had lost his friggin' mind when he fooled around with that kid, if Hillary could live with it, I could live with it. I want to remind my Democratic friends that this was their pretty much position as well.

Let's keep this in perspective. While David Vitter is a fool and a hypocrite, he did not sell his office as did Congressman Al Jefferson. He did not take bribes as did former Governor and current elderly jailbird Edwin Edwards. Further, don't be surprised if some prominent Dems pop up on Ms. Palfrey's list. Poor judgment is not the special province of publicly righteous Republicans. It's just funnier when they are exposed. He will be turned out of office only if his fellow Republicans turn him out in the next primary. And as for me, he is Louisiana's and Wendy Vitter's problem.

It is bad enough when private indiscretions are aired out in public. It is even worse when you preached against them during your career as a public servant. Vitter is lucky to have been outed in an era when the American people as a culture are more fascinated by American Idol and Ultimate Fighting than the war in Iraq. We are beyond shame. My guess is, so long as he didn't steal a bunch of money or kill anybody, Vitter will survive. His paramour in New Orleans assures us that he is a "good father" and that he was not "a freak." This is a Louisiana politician she was talking about. That's good enough for me.

White Collar Crime: I discovered Thursday morning that I was the victim of identity theft. I got on my checking account on the Internet and discovered it had been drained of all but about 200 bucks. When I perused the recent transactions, I saw where someone had evidently gained access to my debit card number and had been merrily making numerous purchases online late last Wednesday night.

I went to the nearest branch office of my bank where the manager immediately went to work. She cancelled my smoking hot debit card and we went through the disputed charges one by one. She called the vendors that she could reach and advised them that the charges were fraudulent. She gave me forms from Visa security and the bank's security department. She told me not to worry. She said I would get the money back but that it might take a week to ten days.

It took 48 hours. The charges for 5 of the 6 purchases have already been taken off. I suspect that the one that remains will be reconciled tomorrow. The manager of the branch at the grocery store said yesterday that they probably could quickly see from analyzing my purchasing patterns that the buyer wasn't really me. Good thing the faux me was buying women's clothes and cosmetics. If she (we assume the thief was a young woman judging from the stuff she was buying) had spent a lot of money at Golfsmith, Big Al's World of Liquor or the Tick-Tock Lounge I might have had to wait awhile to get reimbursed.

Although I have no idea who got my debit card number, I learned that the most likely culprit was a food server who wrote my number and expiration date down when she took my card back to the POS machine. Or it might have been a "he" who sold it to a "she." In any event, I was told to never use a debit card for anything that doesn't require you to enter a PIN number. If you are going to hand a card to a human, hand them a credit card. That number may get stolen as well. But at least with a credit card, the crooks won't have immediate access to your cash.

All's well that ends well. 90% of my money has found its way back into my checking account. I am pleased by the swift action taken by my bank. Here's a free plug. Pissed off at your bank? Go see the good folks at Metropolitan National Bank here in Little Rock. Drop me a line. I'll tell you who to go see over there. She'll take care of you.

Tell her that the guy who bought 500 bucks worth of stuff online at http://www.walgreens.com/ sent you.