Program Note

The blogosphere will no doubt be the poorer for this but the usual Sunday piece will not run until Sunday night or Monday. Between work, shooting a high school football game, Miracle League, attending the wedding of one of my best friend's daughter, and going to see Mother at the nursing home, I am covered up this weekend.

Any of you contributors that feel led to jump in, please do so.

Write if you get work.

Bye. Off to the stadium.

The Long Arm Of The Law

People have asked me various questions about the Roman Polanski situation. And despite the fact that I am not a criminal lawyer, I think I have a pretty good handle on some of the answers. So here goes:

1) He committed the crime (raping and drugging a 13 year old girl) in the late seventies. Hasn't the statute of limitations run? No. The SOL applies to the period of time the State has to bring the charge. Polanski pleaded guilty thereby tolling the statute. There is no SOL on apprehension of a fugitive. So Polanski is, shall we say, SOL.

2) Why did he flee the United States? Rank cowardice is the easiest explanation. But his people say-and who knows if this is true- that the sentencing judge-now deceased-was influenced by an improper communication from a prosecutor not involved with the case to impose incarceration beyond the 30 days in a psychiatric facility Polanski caught initially. But it is said that this was immediately interpreted by Polanski as a potential miscarriage of justice. So before you could say, "Sacre bleu!" he was headed for France.

3) Why didn't the United States ask France to extradite him? I did not know this until the other day but Polanski was born in France which makes him a French citizen. Most countries, the United States included, will not extradite a citizen except for the most heinous of offenses. Statutory rape evidently is not one of those offenses. Besides, it is my understanding that France's concept of what crimes they will extradite over is something of a fluid concept. It could be that France would have been loathe to send an artiste like Polanski back to face the music at the hands of barbarians back in the States.

4) What did it take so long to extradite him? I mean he was running around making movies and stuff while he was on the lam and stuff? Unlike what is shown on cop shows on TV and in the movies, it is really hard to trace money and people. I mean, the entire intelligence apparatus of the United States and Great Britain have been looking for Bin Laden since 9/11. How has that worked out for them?

Further, and I am engaging in speculation here, despite the heinousness of the crime, Polanski was a relatively low level offender that didn't really justify that level of scrutiny. This is especially important when you consider that the victim received a large settlement and forgave Polanski. Besides, L.A. law enforcement was busy fucking up the prosecutions of OJ Simpson and Robert Blake for a large part of this time.

5) So how did they catch him? Polanski's lawyers recently filed a Motion to have his conviction overturned. This was a dubious strategy for two reasons: 1) American courts typically don't view post-conviction motions for relief filed by a fugitive with favor. I mean, when you take a powder you ain't exactly working with the system. So legally it was a dubious strategy in the first place which undoubtedly had the secondary effect if 2) pissing them off according to various news reports and putting Polanski back on the radar screen where lo and behold they found out that the Zurich Film Festival was going to give him an award. They asked the Swiss authorities to pick his ass up pursuant to the extradition treaty between the two countries. Which they did. Nice work counselors!

6) Isn't it kind of ridiculous to extradite a 74 year old man who isn't exactly accused of war crimes? Sure, especially when evidently the prosecutors failed to make him surrender his passport back when he pleaded out in the first place. Which makes them kind of complicit in my view.

But legally, it's a pretty simple case. I am assuming that even in Switzerland Polanski would have a hard time making bail because, well, he's a flight risk. Duh. Once they get him back here in the US they can and will charge him with all kinds of stuff. And he will go to jail. Once again hubris and narcissism is the downfall of yet another smart ass who was squarely in the cross hairs of The Man.

Somebody put on my Facebook page that Woody Allen has come out in his defense.

Perfect.

My Sunday Feeling

We were sitting at the kitchen table when the kid asked me, "Have you ever been stoned?"

"Huh?" I replied.

"Have you ever been stoned?"

"On drugs?"

" Yeah."

"No. I never fooled around with drugs," I said.

"How about alcohol?"

" Yeah. But not in a very long time."

He put the question to his Mom. Her response was the same.

One never knows what is percolating around in a teenager's brain. Maybe he confused my laconic aura and red eyes with some form of intoxication. I have a defense. I was tired from running around for 8 hours with the Miracle League kids and I had forgotten to put in my new eyedrops, which judging from the price, are made from water hauled in from the Shrine at Lourdes. Secondly, it was 8:30 at his mother's house. We were having a glass of wine. C'mon.

Maybe he just wanted to talk. He just turned 14, I am pretty sure. 14 or 15. That's certainly an age where one is typically first confronted with certain temptations with which we all contend with varying degrees of success for the rest of our lives. Better he get his information from adults than from one of his knucklehead associates.

God knows I have had the "good time fun" in the immortal words of Arlo Guthrie. But after awhile, once you start accumulating a few objects you start to make the risk calculation. My friends and I talk all the time about how we are generally at home by 9 or so. About how it's not worth it. We have all become what we once would have derided as "no fun." And that's OK. As one of my buddies once said, "The people that still party hearty in their late forties and fifties are referred to as alcoholics." As for me, God in His unquestioned wisdom granted unto me a fail-safe device.

I get tired pretty easily nowadays. And thank God for that. And as for street drugs, I wouldn't begin to know where to obtain them if I were so inclined.

I hardly would call my friends a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud. But I scarcely know anybody who smokes cigarettes. I discovered a cigarette butt in the empty base of a flower pot on my front porch. I had to think long and hard before deducing that it was most likely left there by a lady friend who has taken up the infernal habit once again while she is going through many troubles. Which was the reason she presented herself at my little house in the first place. And once her life settles down, I suspect she will kick it once again with renewed vigor.

H.L. Mencken once said something along the lines of "Vice is too dangerous to be left in the hands of the virtuous. It should only be dabbled in by the sinful who know when to fool with it and when to let it alone."

I've been lucky in that regard. For the most part I've known when to fool with it and when to let it alone. And the older I get the more I let it alone. My Uncle Howard no longer partakes in the amber liquid. This is an outcome as unlikely to me as his not breathing oxygen. But he said he just wasn't interested in it anymore. He just lets it alone.

The kid didn't ask anymore questions or let us know what caused him to broach the subject. Maybe it just popped into his head. He's a kid. There's not much of a filter between his brain and his mouth.

Like all of us, he will have to make his own choices and choose his own path. And he's a really good kid. I just hope that he learns to make an accommodation with trouble. And that he learns when to fool with it and when to let it alone.

Henin back. More drama for women's tennis?

Henin back. More drama for women's tennis?

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Vox Populi: Them Old Cotton Fields Back In Atlanta

The following is a text message from yesterday:


tmfw: Have y'all been getting all that rain out there in North Carolina?



Don: Not around here yet.



tmfw: It's been raining like crazy here. The cotton people say that the crops are dropping to the ground and mildewing.



Don: Well, when them cotton bolls get rotten you can't make very much cotton.



tmfw: This is based on personal experience right?



Don: Well, when I was just a little bitty baby my Mama would rock me in that cradle.



tmfw: I know for sure that you don't know the first damn thing about cotton farming. I know that you didn't spend your infancy in Louisiana. And for the record, there's no place in Louisiana that's just about a mile from Texarkana.

Don: I have to go now.

tmfw: Take an umbrella to work tomorrow.

Don: Bye

My Sunday Feeling

I tried to think of when I was last in an elementary school and concluded that to the best of my knowledge it was 13 years ago when I went to pick my nephew Eli up from school to take him to the hospital when his brother Henry was born. I once walked over to Holy Souls to to get FSO's boys when she was jammed up at the restaurant but I didn't get have to go any further than the playground. Suffice it to say that it had been awhile.

But there I was a week or so ago at Marguerite Vann Elementary School in Conway to be the "secret reader" for my nephew Max's second grade class. While I had never done anything like this before I figured I could get through it as I can read pretty good for a lawyer. Besides it beats working.

I stood in the office and they called for the Vice-Principal who would usher me back to Max's class. There was artwork up and down the hall at chest level to me. I forgot that's how they hang art at a kid's school.

After a few minutes Jeanne the VP showed up. I actually have known Jeanne since the 7th grade or so. She still speaks to me despite that fact.

"I'm glad you could do this," Jeanne said, as we walked arm in arm down the hall. " Max will be so surprised."

"I know," I said. " He hasn't seen me sober very many times."

She stopped and looked at me over the top of her glasses. Whoa. I hadn't gotten an official "teacher look" since high school. It did not bring back fond memories.

"Joke."

" It better be."

I kept my mouth shut until we got to the class.

"You stand here out of sight and look through this window. I'm going to go in and tell the class that I have a surprise for them. When I tug on my ear, that's your cue."

I stood in the hall and bent over to look through the glass. It was like I was in a structure that was designed for midgets. Which in a very real sense I was. Young teachers were going up and down the hall. I never had elementary school teachers that were as hot as the ones I beheld that afternoon. Probably just as well. I had focus issues as a young kid. Having sexy teachers would not have helped on that score.

I looked back through the glass to see Jeanne yanking her ear lobe as if it were the pull cord on a lawn mower. Shit. I was on!

As I walked in, Max's little eyes resembled a slot machine.

" Who's that, Max?" Jeanne asked.

" It's Unc...Unc...I mean it's my Uncle...."

"Paul." she said gently.

"It's Uncle Paul!"

"This is gonna be fun." I thought to myself.

"Class," the teacher said. " This is Max's Uncle Paul. He came aaaaallllllllllll the way from Little Rock to read for us. Say hello."

"Hello Uncle Paul!" came the voices below me.

There were two chairs at the front of the class. One for me and one for Max. The teacher asked me to tell the class what I did for a living. Explaining the practice of law to 8 year old kids is not the easiest thing.

" Wellllll," I said. " Sometimes when people can't agree they have to go see the Judge, who is very wise, to decide stuff for them. And people hire lawyers to help explain their side of it to the Judge."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" was the response.

A hand shot up. I pointed.

"What do you like to do for fun?" a black kid asked.

I told them that I liked to read, take pictures, play golf and libel people on this blog. I then put Max in a headlock and started acting like I was pounding his head.

"And I like to beat Max up!" I yelled.

"He really does too," said a familiar little voice from beneath my armpit.

The class roared. Like I said, this was gonna be fun.

After that, I read a couple of books. One was about a little Chinese boy named Ping who wanted to grow flowers to impress the Emperor. The other was about a teacher who liked to wear funny ties.

And that was that. I thanked the class for letting me come read to them and I wished them a good day. I also told them that if they studied hard they could go to LAW SCHOOL!

Ok. That part was a lie.

I asked Max's mom the other day what he had to say about my cameo appearance.

" Not much," Shirley said. " He said he got to sit next to you in the front of the class."

"That's it?"

"Look," she said. " Small children are in their own little worlds. They don't remember what you DID. They only remember that you were there. And because you were there Max got to sit in the front of the class."

Which I guess is pretty big stuff when you are 8.

The teacher asked me if I would come do it again. I told her that I would be happy to.

I have to come aaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll the way from Little Rock. But Max will get to sit in the front of the class. I guess that's pretty big stuff when you are 8.

The Stakes Are High

In his column today Wally Hall actually wrote the following sentence about tomorrow night's game against Georgia:

"When the teams meet Saturday night, it will be with anxious anxiety."

You cannot make this stuff up.

Another Example Of The Lack Of Civility In Our Society

As far as baseball fights go, this is a good one. As ESPN Magazine's Bill Simmons has pointed out, you could drop a running chainsaw in the middle of most baseball fights and still nobody would get hurt. This one looked like they meant it.

And they say baseball players don't care anymore......

My Sunday Feeling

Forget the debate about health care reform. Let not your heart be troubled over a congressman yelling at the President during a speech before a Joint Session of Congress. Do not be troubled by the apparent fact that a not inconsiderable number of the citizenry repose trust in the lunatic raving put out by the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of this world.



No. For high drama you need only turn to women's tennis!

Let's set the scene. Serena Williams was playing unseeded Kim Clijsters in the semi-finals of the US Open last night. And she was getting it handed to her. Clijsters was ahead in the match 6-4, 6-5 and Serena was serving at 15-30 to try to force a tiebreaker. On her second serve she was called for a foot fault, meaning her foot had touched the service line as she served. This made it 15-40 whereupon Serena went off on the line judge as you can see here at the jump: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZcDn8JWCLo

Accounts vary as to what Serena actually said to the judge. The New York Times reported that she used profanity. Comcast reported that Serena told the line judge that she could "ram the ball down her throat." The line judge evidently told the Chair Umpire that Serena threatened to kill her. And that was enough to give her a penalty point. But she didn't have a point to give and Clijsters was awarded the match.

Now some of you might be asking: Penalty point? Did tennis come down hard on Serena to protect the officials as the NBA or Major League Baseball might have done? Of course not. Tennis is too pussy a sport to do anything like that. On the tape you will not hear the Chair say " Code Violation Miss Williams. Thugging out on the line judge. Penalty point."

No. Serena had reacted to the loss of the first set by destroying a racquet which got her a warning for racquet abuse. The next step in the progression is a penalty point. Which we now know threatening a line judge will get you. And at 15-40 she had no points to squander in that fashion. Game,set, and match Miss Clijsters.

On the tape you will hear noted diplomat John McEnroe bitch that a foot fault should never have been called at that point in the match. McEnroe, who got his own self thrown out of the Australian Open 20 years ago after a heated discussion with the Chair and got disqualified from the US Open for showing up late for a match , is right. These guys foot fault all the time.

And this has already sparked NBA gambler level paranoia in the press and on the Internet. Michael Kay on the Sports Reporters has speculated that Serena basically threw the match so she could blame the ignominy of losing to an unseeded player to getting jobbed by the officials. As if Cljisters showed up from the St. Vincent's tournament here in Little Rock. As if she were Melanie Oudin.

Clijsters, was unseeded because she retired to have a baby and to mourn the death of her father, soccer legend Leo Clijsters, from she says she inherited her steel girder like legs. Prior to that she was a former top 10 player and past US Open champ herself.

Whether Serena threw the match, which is unlikely, or lost her shit at a really bad time which is more likely is beside the point. The WTA is a joke. The Williams sisters pretty much show up to play in Majors when it suits their purposes and routinely mow down the field. Clijsters lays off a couple of years, comes back and does likewise. A 17 year old high school kid cuts a swath through a bunch of Russian models with no other weapons except young legs and a head that's screwed on straight.

You wouldn't see this kind of stuff on the men's side where Federer and Rafa are now starting to get dinged up by the field. And you haven't seen a Serena level meltdown in a Major in the men's game since Jeff Tarango retired. I think he retired. Either that or he was institutionalized.

I may watch the finals tonight. One thing everybody in the claw-your-eyes-out world of the WTA agrees on is that it is good for the game that Clijsters is back because she is such a nice person.

Imagine that.

Backfire in Crazytown

There must be something in the water down there that causes Republicans in South Carolina to take complete leave of their senses. First, the governor leaves the state on Father's day weekend, lies about his whereabouts and goes to Argentina to fool around with a woman he would later describe as his "soul mate." And last night Congressman Joe Wilson, shouted "You lie!" at President Obama as he was addressing the Congress about health care reform in question.

Now there has been no dearth of lyin' during this exceedingly fractious debate on health care. Most of it, if not all, has been put out by right wing radio pundits and the whack jobs that subscribe to their bullshit. Think "death panels" and "no health care for Gammie." What riled Rep. Wilson was Obama's statement that he never proposed health care for illegal immigrants. Which actually is the truth.

Look, I think it might actually be a good thing for the President to go to Capitol Hill from time-to-time to take questions from the legislative branch much as the Brits do. I used to watch various Prime Ministers engaged in vigorous debate during "Question Time." It was great fun to watch and damned if the participants didn't seem to be enjoying it as well.

But the Brits are a civil lot who enjoy verbal jousting. Here across the pond we have folks who are convinced despite all evidence to the contrary that the President was not born in the United States. We have guys packing guns outside venues where Mr. Obama is speaking. Here we have a radio host who says that the President "obviously has a deep seated hatred of white people." This despite the fact that Obama's mother was white as were one set of his grandparents. And we have at least one Member who called the President a liar on national TV. There is a difference between strong disagreement with a proposed policy and calling somebody a liar.

But Wilson's big mouth and hot temper may have backfired on him. His opponent in the next election raised $300,000 overnight. His behavior has been condemned by people on both sides of the aisle. Undoubtedly some folks who might have approved of such an intemperate display were disappointed when Wilson apologized. That's not gonna help him any with the wing nuts. And he may have stiffened the resolve of wavering Dems to get some version of this damn thing passed for no reason other than to show folks that the country is not run by utter fools.

But in the meantime maybe the GOP ought to check the water down there in the Palmetto State. There's something that's making some of your elected officials bad crazy.

My Sunday Feeling

No MSF today Sports Fans! I'm taking the weekend off. Be back at it soon!

My Sunday Feeling

In considering the life of the late Edward Moore Kennedy, I kept coming back to the same thought. Namely, I can think of no politician other than Bill Clinton who could inspire more pathological rage in some quarters than Ted Kennedy. Sure there are lots of people that are riled up at Barack Obama. But it's early in the game for his Presidency. And I think most folks are willing to be patient with him seeing as how he inherited an ungodly mess from his predecessor.

One of the regular commentators on my Facebook page is a conservative physician who has no use for the Kennedys. She recently allowed as how she was disgusted that "the left" (as she put it) romanticized Kennedy's life here in the last week without sufficient regard for the messy personal life of his early years.

OK. Fair enough. Let's compare and contrast the public record of both Kennedy and, say, George W. Bush.

Kennedy was born into wealth and privilege. Ditto W. Kennedy went to Harvard where he was kicked out for cheating on a test. W went to Yale where by all accounts he was an indifferent student at best. Kennedy served two years in the Army at a NATO post in France arranged by his father. W's dad got him into the Air National Guard during Viet Nam. W got an MBA from Harvard. Kennedy got a JD from Virginia.

Kennedy got elected to the Senate at 30. W lost his first race for Congress. Kennedy stayed put in the Senate until his death. W was a nominal partner in an oil and gas company in Midland, Texas where he met his future wife.

W wrecked a car while driving drunk. Ted killed somebody doing the same. W quit drinking. Kennedy struggled with it off and on. His first wife Joan entered rehab. They ultimately divorced. W and Laura are still married.

W ran a the Texas Rangers where they passed on a guy named Sammy Sosa. In retrospect this was a good move. W ultimately got elected Governor of Texas. Kennedy decided to unseat Jimmy Carter. He lost when he really couldn't articulate why he was doing it " I fucking hate Jimmy Carter" being no good reason to run for President.

Kennedy returned to the Senate where he became known as a master of bipartisan compromise despite his liberal credentials. He met Victoria Reggie (who was a year ahead of me at Tulane. No kidding.) and they married thus ending the fractious personal life that was his undoing despite his achievements in the Senate. Kennedy is said to have become more devout in his Catholicism. W remains a devout Christian and nominal Methodist with evangelical leanings.

W stole the Presidential election in 2000 although he was aided mightily by the Democrats failure to carry Arkansas or Tennessee which would have put them safely over the top. Kennedy tells Esquire magazine about this that he can work with anybody. This horrifies liberals. W presides over a completely partisan White House, starts one unnecessary war based upon, shall we say, dubious intelligence, erases the balanced budget of the Clinton years, and ignites the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression due to his Administration's failure to adequately regulate the financial system.

The point? Ted Kennedy and George Bush have more in common than either their supporters or detractors would admit. Kennedy's reputation for boozing and womanizing was legendary and exposed him to charges of being a hypocrite and a phony. A friend and I were talking the other day and agreed that Ted Kennedy should have thanked his lucky stars that the Internet and cell phone cameras weren't around during much of his adult life. There is no way he could have survived digital technology in his younger and wilder days.

And yet. I predict that history will judge one of these men with kindness.

Want to guess which one?

Vox Populi: A Nice Lady In Area Code 479

Me: Hello? May I speak to Anna?

Nice Lady (NL): Speaking..

Me: PM over at the paper called..

NL: Yes! Thank you for calling me. Did he tell you that I was moved about your story-your article- about your Mama?

Me: Yes ma'am he did.

NL: Did he tell you what I told him about my Mama?

Me: Yes ma'am I think he did.

NL: Can I tell it to you?

Me: Yes ma'am.

NL: Mama had Parkinson's just like your Mama. She was in the nursing home. Skin and bones just like your Mama.

Me: Yes ma'am.

NL: I'm a Baptist. I believe in God's presence.

Me: Yes ma'am.

NL: God appeared in my mama's room and asked her if she was ready to go. I heard it plain as day. Mama told the Lord she was ready to go. I heard that plain as day. And then she went on.

Me: Wow. Goodness.

NL: I'm in a wheelchair. My husband. Well, he's blind.

Me: I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for thinking about me.

NL: Losing your Mama will be hard on you. You call me if you need to talk.

Me: Yes ma'am I will.

NL: I've talked your ear off. I guess you need to go.

Me: Yes ma'am.

NL: You call me if you need to talk.

Me: Yes ma'am. Good luck to you and your husband.

My Sunday Feeling

There is no joy in the Bluegrass State. Louisville's Rick Pitino admits to knocking up a whack job. And last Thursday brought the news that the NCAA stripped the Memphis Tigers of all their victories in 2007-2008 for using an ineligible player, namely NBA Rookie of the Year Derrick Rose. The Tigers were coached by one John Calipari shown above in his first presser as the new coach of the Kentucky Wildcats.



Kentucky now holds the distinction of having a coach in their employ who has taken two teams to the Final Four only to have both trips voided by the NCAA. Marcus Canby signed with an agent. Derrick Rose had somebody take the SAT for him. Calipari swears he knew nothing about either procedural difficulty involving these players.



Which is highly unlikely.



A review of the NCAA's "Public Infractions Report" concerning the Memphis Tigers under Calipari's watch is instructive and should be required reading for every Wildcats fan. The gist of the case against the basketball team is that Derrick Rose was ineligible based on some funny test scores that he failed to explain away. They were also penalized over the coach of the women's golf team's unseemly overtures to some of her players. But that is neither here nor there.



Concerning the ineligibility issue, the report states that Rose-identified as "Student-athlete 1"-took the ACT 3 times in his hometown of Chicago and flunked same thrice. In May of 2007, he went to Detroit and took the SAT which he passed. He certified as eligible by the NCAA upon that basis and on he went to don the Blue and White.



By October, the Inspector General of the Chicago Public Schools (the fact that they have an Inspector General tells you all you need to know about the state of public education in Chicago) notified Educational Testing Services that there were some alleged improprieties concerning the SAT Rose passed in the Motor City. ETS started its own investigation. By now, we are into the college basketball season and the Memphis Tigers are running roughshod over Conference USA with Derrick Rose at the point.



In March, ETS writes Rose to notify him of discrepancies between handwriting samples taken from the 4 tests. Seems the handwriting on the SAT didn't match up exactly with the handwriting on the 3 ACTs Rose flunked. Rose did not respond. ETS wrote him again in April. Again Rose failed to respond. ETS invalidated the SAT score and turned it over to the NCAA and away we go.



Memphis's defense was that a) the NCAA Clearinghouse ruled that Rose was eligible when it appeared he passed the SAT and b) it didn't have sufficient information at the time to suspect that he would be ruled ineligible later. Let us turn now to the Report.



NCAA Committee Member: [I]f you have a test score that is invalidated, you didn't have the scores to be admitted to begin with. Where am I wrong?"



University Legal Counsel: At the time he was admitted on the score that was provided at the time, is that your question? Was he eligible, in looking backwards, whether he was eligible or not?



NCAA Committee Member: Yes. He didn't have the score.



University Legal Counsel: We have acknowledged that.



Committee Member: You have acknowledged that he was ineligible.



University Legal Counsel: Yes, and we have to address that, based on after-the-fact information.



Committee Member: It doesn't matter.



There is no sentence a lawyer hates to hear worse than " It doesn't matter." And upon that basis Memphis is stripped of 38 wins, the runner-up trophy and it must cough up @ 600 grand.



And where is the "student-athlete?" He is starting his second season in the NBA. Last year he was the Rookie of the Year. And Calipari left Memphis one step ahead of the Sheriff. Just as he did at UMass.



Calipari is nowhere mentioned in the Report. But do you believe for one minute that he didn't have any reason to suspect that there was some funny business with the SAT results? The kid flunked three times in Chicago and manages to pass when he gets a change of scenery? In Detroit? You don't think that Rose didn't ever mention to Coach Cal during March Madness that the ETS was bugging him about the test results? Do you believe that?



And guess what? This isn't the first time down this path for Memphis either. They got their Final Four season under Dana Kirk invalidated about 15 years ago. You would think that the prudent thing, once they got wind that the NCAA or ETS was poking around, would have been to sit Rose until they got it worked out. But no.



Look, DI men's sports is a cesspool. And basketball is the bottom of the cesspool. As Mile Lupica says, guys like John Calipari don't hire themselves. And now Kentucky, a known NCAA recidivist itself, has got a guy at the helm that will go down in history as one of the bigger cheaters in the game. I mean, c'mon. Even Jerry Tarkanian didn't have 2 Final Fours voided.



But Calipari has also brought in a recruiting class some have said is the best ever in college basketball. Which is why the bluebloods in Lexington held their nose and hired a known recruiter of thugs in order to up the ante in the dirty arms race between them and Louisville. It's just business.



But don't be surprised at whatever may happen down the road. Just sayin'.

This Here's Not The End Of The World

Thus spake Antwon Womack who got caught lying about his age and educational status in his bid for the Birmingham School Board. Thank God nothing like that could possibly happen here in Little Rock. Right?

Check it out. It's hilarious. http://blog.al.com/birmingham-elections/2009/08/candidate_antwon_womack_says_h.html

Padraig Harrington Amazing Shot 2nd Round 2009 PGA Championship

Don't try this at home, kids!

My Sunday Feeling

"Times aren't easy, but if I can get through 9/11, I can get through anything in my life. And I got through 9/11 and there's nothing ever going to come close to that. We'll get through this in a positive way and move on."


Rick Pitino




Note to self: If ever I am drinking late some night in a bar-What the hell. It could happen.-and a woman with whom I had chatted earlier in the evening returns looking for me and starts "hitting on me" I should immediately call for a cab. If however, we start getting busy in the floor of the restaurant, and should she inform me in the process of said getting busy that she is not compliant with a birth control regimen and that this will require me to "pull out" then I hope that I have the sense to quickly jump up and run out the door.


But if I don't have sense enough to get myself into the night air at that point, at least I would hope that I didn't knock her up. Or that if I did, it would not be in a Roman Catholic town like Louisville and that my babymamma wouldn't turn out to be crazy, an extortionist or both.


But as Louisville Head Basketball Coach Rick Pitino now well knows, once you set things in motion down certain paths, it is sometimes hard to make these things go away quietly.


I figured that Pitino had gotten hooked up with the wrong person back last Spring when it was reported that he had gone to the FBI to complain that he was the subject of a blackmail attempt. And in due course, one Karen Sypher, the estranged wife of Tim Sypher, the equipment manager at Louisville, was indicted for extortion. As if that weren't bad enough, she did indeed become pregnant through their liaison-or at least she said that's how she got pregnant back in 2003. And Pitino gave her some money. She says it was for an abortion. He said it was because she needed health insurance. Which wasn't his original story to the FBI.


One of the more peculiar aspects of this story involves the meeting at which she informed him that she was in a family way. Pitino and Sypher met to discuss this situation at the condo owned by the equipment manager. Who eventually became Tim Sypher's husband. That's where she met him. I mean, that's just bizarre. Not only that, but this means she has been hanging around at basketball games and office functions since that fateful night in 2003. This could not have been much fun for Rick.


Mrs. Pitino: Why is Karen staring at you?


Mr. Pitino: Karen who?


Oh and it gets worse. Sypher went to the Louisville police after she got indicted. She claimed Pitino raped her twice. The cops noted some New Holland Tunnel gaps in her story and didn't charge Pitino with anything. Meanwhile, the local media up in the Bluegrass State have dug up a picture of Sypher in something slinky for a personal profile in a website called sugardaddies.com. They dug up a sexual harassment lawsuit that she filed against a former employer in 2000. Claims she was sexually assaulted by the boss on numerous occasions. The case settled. And now, she says that the equipment manager was paid by Rick Pitino to marry her in order to ensure her continued silence. Yeah right.



This woman is no longer "inconvenient" as they used to say. She is now even more trouble than she was back in 2003. Because now she won't shut up. Nooooooooo, this isn't going away anytime soon. And as long the missus allows him to remain in the home Rick Pitino is going to get to learn first hand what it must be like to be Bill Clinton, John Edwards and Mark Sanford. He will not like this experience.


As you might imagine, there are people, notably Roman Catholic people, calling for his scalp. As you also might imagine, since Rick Pitino is one of the most famous coaches in the history of the game and a proven money maker, the UofL brass is sticking with him.





And yes there certainly is a morals clause in Pitino's contract and his escapade has brought unwanted negative publicity to both himself and his employer. And yes, other coaches have been fired for similar sex and alcohol related misdeeds. And no, Pitino would not tolerate this sort of behavior from one of his players.





But this is Men's DI hoops we are talking about, where hypocrisy is as much an active ingredient as the ability to stick the jumper. We may make way too much of coaches being role models. Adults should be role models and that is where Pitino has failed. But it's not like he has a history of this sort of behavior-at least that's not his reputation-so while perhaps his behavior merits disciplinary action of some sort, he certainly does not deserve to be fired.





Men and women have been behaving stupidly with their clothes off since before the time of King David. He is just one more. If his wife and family can live with it, I certainly can. It is none of my business.



But still. Folks have said that it everybody would be better off if Pitino took a leave of absence for awhile. I mean, my God. Just wait until the Cardinals go visit the Wildcats at Rupp. Imagine the signs those kids are gonna come up with. How could anybody bear up under such stress?





Easy. The coaching world is full of outsized egos and Pitino's is one of the biggest. If you have any doubt about that just consult the quote at the top of the page. He made this statement about the time that Sypher got indicted last Spring. He lost a brother-in-law in the attack on the World Trade Towers. Just like then, he said he would "get through this in a positive way and move on."





Up until now I thought the 9/11 attacks were one of the most craven acts of terrorism in history. Rick Pitino thinks it's all about him.





He'll get through this just fine. Really he will.

I've Already Faxed My Resume

Jack Daniels Master Distiller Jimmy Bedford died last Friday.

Drunken Preacher's Sermon - Easter Sunday

We may safely assume that this was Brother Leroy's sermon. Thanks to Strangepup for passing this along.

My Sunday Feeling

President Obama's birthday was earlier in the week. I wish him well and I hope he and his wife had a nice celebration. But as been pointed out in both the New York Times and the Washington Post-and everywhere else on the Internet there still remains a certain segment of society-or at least the segment of society that remains unmedicated-that Mr. Obama is not qualified to be President because he was did not celebate his first birthday on American soil.





Article II, Section 5 of the Constitution states that "No person except a natural born Citizen" is eligible to be President of the United States. While this seems antiquated to me it is still the law. I attended a Naturalization Ceremony last Spring in Judge Holmes' courtroom. After it was over he told the assemblage that they "were as American as me." Except Leon Holmes could run for President and a naturalized citizen cannot.



Which brings us to the current "controversy." The folks-known as "Birthers"- that are convinced that Barack Obama was not really born in the United States are raising hell all over the Internet and the air waves about his ineligibility to hold the office. They believe this despite the copious evidence to the contrary. A true copy of the Certificate of Live Birth showing that little Barack took his first breath in the State of Hawaii does not convince them. They want to see the original document which the State of Hawaii sensibly refuses to produce for inspection. The fact that authenticated documents are admissible as evidence is not sufficient.



But OK. This would have required Obama and his acolytes to pull off a massive conspiracy which involved the local press which published the announcement of his birth. And it would have required everyone in this massive conspiracy to keep quiet about it for all of these years which never happens. Also, it is legally superfluous seeing as how he was born to an American mother. Which makes Barack Obama as much of a "natural born Citizen" as me and Judge Holmes.



Here's a thought. Perhaps the Birthers should also try to prove that Arnold Schwartzenegger was really born in Michigan or something so he can qualify to run for President once he is able to escape the California statehouse. That makes as much sense as trying to prove that Barack Obama is not an American by birth and there's just as much available evidence.



I have always said that you are entitled to your beliefs but that you are not entitled to your own facts. I don't believe that I have ever seen another time in my lifetime where more folks were confusing what they dearly want to believe with what is factual. It is proof positive of the reach and scope of the Internet that so many people are compelled by the deranged thinking it occasionally puts out.



We are told that abortion is murder. Of course this is not true. You may believe that it is morally wrong and you have the right to oppose it. But it is a legal procedure and women have a right to avail themselves of it.



We are told that teachers should be free to "teach the controversy" that allegedly exists between Creation Science and Evolution. Of course this is not true. There is no controversy in modern science about the Theory of Evolution as a means to describe biological change over time. But you have to admit that there is not much of a down side to a pathological hatred of Darwin. If you are gonna diss a scientific theory Evolution's the one. You ignore the theory of gravity at your peril.



And now we are told that the new reforms of Health Insurance will lead to euthanasia and "death panels" that will decide which disabled children will be allowed to receive medical services. Of course, this is not true. Hit the link for an editorial in the Boston Globe about the claims about euthanasia: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2009/08/08/when_the_truth_wont_stop_health_reform_try_lies/



Finally, we are told that these reforms will institute rationing of health care. Of course this is not true. Insurance companies ration health care all of the time. And have for years. When I fell and hit my head my insurance company initially refused to pay for an MRI because I had not consulted an Otolaryngologist first. I had a friend who was told he needed a new medicine for a tumor in his brain. The insurance company initially said it wouldn't pay for it. This is rationing of health care pure and simple. It happens every day. The new proposed reforms will not "institute" this practice.



God knows it is a complicated world out there. And people necessarily tend to be wary about things they don't fully understand. Which is why if the proponents of these reforms want the damn thing to pass had better do a better job of explaining them.



Because people are confusing their beliefs or what they are being led to believe with the facts. And it is gumming things up.