Sunday, May 03, 2020

My Sunday Feeling

I am reminded lately of an old expression in my line of work.  

"Everybody thinks they can coach baseball and practice law."

I will add to that.  "Everybody nowadays think they know more than experts."  

Way back in the day, back when I was a humble civil servant, I used to have to contend  with every nutbar shitbang legal theory that was percolating out there, primarily in the world of people that owed the government money. Let me try to remember some.

"The government does not have jurisdiction because I am a Christian Sovereign Citizen and I do not consent."  This I referred to as the "You can't sue us. We're Baptist" defense.  

"I am entitled to a trial because the filing fee represents a contract between me and the clerk.  So you can stick that Motion for Summary Judgment."

"The Amendment that created the IRS was invalid because Virginia is a Commonwealth and not a state."

Und sehr wider.

Typically, these "arguments" as such were put out by people representing themselves.  And any lawyer can tell you that a pro se litigant is the bane of our collective existence.  I remember one of these fools had somehow gotten ahold of an opinion letter I had written to the client agency authorizing them to do whatever oppression they were doing to this lady.  Her defense was that my opinion was "wrong" on the law. And she wouldn't come off that opinion in our deposition of her.

The exasperated Assistant United States Attorney led her down the path.

"Did you graduate from high school?"

"Yes." And she named the school and the date.

"Did you go to college?"

"I attended Northeast Louisiana."

"Did you graduate?"

"I did not."

"So you didn't go to law school did you?"

"No."

"And you don't have a license to practice law do you?"

"No."

"Did you know that my colleague here (that would be me) graduated both college and law school? And that he holds a license to practice law up in Arkansas? And that he's done so for 20 something years?"

"I assume that's true."

"And yet you think you know more about government regulations than he does?"

"On this one regulation I do."

Which she learned to her eventual consternation was not true.  Or at least her argument failed to impress whatever United States District Judge she tried to fly it past.  

I don't recall if this delightful encounter was prior to the Internet or not.  But I know this.  Expertise is no longer valued in this country.  Thanks to the Internet in our present age you have any of a number of crooks and nuts (sometimes both) peddling pseudo science and paranoid theories that have gained a purchase in the minds of some and created constituencies that insist that "belief" trumps knowledge.  The effect is that all kinds of people are like my old defendant.  They don't care what they are told by the authorities or professionals.  They don't believe stuff because they have a right not to.  And that is all that matters to them. 

And in Michigan, some of them protested government quarantine orders there by marching on the statehouse armed to the teeth.  I remember a day in the not so distant past when such behavior would have resulted in arrests (or worse).  Those idiots in Lansing should thank their lucky stars on the Confederate flags some were waving (talk about mixed signals) that the cops guarding the building were calm and professional.  

But is anybody surprised at this when we have a President who muses aloud during news conferences about unproven drugs (Chloroquine), quack remedies (injection of disinfectants) and who urges armed cranks to urge states to "open up" when his own administration urged them to "close down." And now the United States has the highest number of dead in the world during this pandemic.  

This must be said.  From what I can tell the vast majority of folks that are taking to the streets are white folks.  I wonder what the outcome would be if a crowd of black men with the same right to openly carry weapons as their cracker brethren took to the streets.  I just wonder.

Godalmighty.  Science doesn't cease to be science just because you don't "believe" it.  You cannot vote out the coronavirus or declare a shooting war against it.  I'm not saying that you don't have the right  to believe whatever damn fool notion that is rattling around inside your head.  I am saying that exercise of rights can be a delicate thing in a democracy.

You say you have a right not to cover your face.  Fine. I have a right not to let you in my store.

You say you have right not to vaccinate your child.  I have the right to ban you and your child from my medical office.

You say you have a right to go back to work.  Actually you don't.  But even at that your employer has the right not to call you back until there's work for you to do.  

You get my point.  

I don't know more about infectious disease and vaccinations than Dr. Fauci.  Most likely neither do you.  Just because you don't "believe" him doesn't make him wrong.  Just because you listen to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh doesn't mean you know the first damn thing about the law.

By the way.  Practicing law and coaching baseball ain't easy.

I know.  I've done both.  

Trust me.





  






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