My Sunday Feeling

I don't know about you.  But I have been sufficiently amused by the commencement process this spring.  I went to two-count 'em-two at Washington University in St. Louis (Not "at" as I have been stating wrongly for all these years)graduation ceremonies last week.  And last night was my nephew Clarke's graduation from Catholic High.

As I have said before, it has been my high honor to have been the a diplomate thrice in my life.  At one of the stops along the way I learned the word "thrice."  And quite frankly I don't remember a single word uttered by any of the speakers at any of these events.  Chances are, you don't either.  

Let's face it. Commencement ceremonies are pretty dull affairs.  Most sensible folks wouldn't go if they didn't have to.  And most schools make their graduates walk the floor.

But it's over now. I don't have another command performance until my youngest nephew Max gets his ticket in two years.  I am happy.

I tend not to give unsolicited advice, especially after a young person has had to endure the same from an absolute stranger during his or her graduation ceremony.  But I told Sarah to make sure that she took care of any overdue books, parking tickets etc before she left Saint Louis.  I know whereof I speak.

Last February I needed to present my law school transcript to the State Department of Education for reasons known only to it.  The fact that I passed the bar exam and have practiced law since 1981 were not sufficient evidence to prove that I had credentials sufficient to teach Government to Freshmen.  

But when I applied online to Tulane to get my transcript I was advised that they would not release same to me as still owed a debt to the school.  This came as something of a surprise to me seeing as how I was never notified of any past due debt owed to them and it's not as if they didn't know where I might be found.  Besides, I couldn't for the life of me think of what sort of debt that I might have owed.  I never got a parking ticket.  It couldn't have been a library fine.  I never went to the library.

In any event, as I patiently explained to the Business Department on my letterhead, any conceivable period of prescription (that's what they call a statute of limitations down there) had long since expired mainly by Tulane's failure to seek enforcement of the debt over the last THIRTY YEARS.

Much to my surprise, they backed off in 12 hours.  I got the transcript and dutifully turned it in, redundant and superfluous though it was.

But alma maters are jealous of the bottom line.  Especially when they think they have you over the proverbial barrel.  

So here is my advice to all the graduates out there.  Make sure you make your piece with the Business Office at good ole State U before you need a transcript.  They may not be able to revoke your diploma.  But they can sure do their best to screw up your chances at getting a job.

And to the Tulane University of Louisiana I say "thank you."  Or another two word sentence that has "you" as the last word.

 I mean it sincerely.  And I say it thrice.