When I was a callow youth in high school, I dabbled in many things. I dabbled in baseball. I dabbled in basketball. I dabbled in football. I dabbled in track and field where I dabbled, briefly, in the pole vault. My father would not allow me to dabble in golf because he could not abide the notion of a left handed golfer. In retrospect, I should have heeded his warnings about the damn game. I would be better off today.
I dabbled in literature. I actually thought I understood T.S. Eliot at 17. I dabbled in writing but, alas, I had no talent for it. I dabbled in music. I sang in assemblies. I still get shit about it. I dabbled in algebra, physics and chemistry. I dabbled in coming up for plausible explanations for my shitty grades in these disciplines.
I dabbled in booze: mainly beer and malt liquor. I dabbled in wrecking cars and nearly wrecking cars. I dabbled in sneaking out of the house at night to go running around with my buddies. It is a wonder I didn't dabble in pushing up daisies.
I dabbled in girls. Specifically, I dabbled with Terry, Cindy, Judy, Myra, Polly, Susan and a bunch of others. I wouldn't read too much into this by the way. I attempted to dabble with Lisa but being the sensible type that she remains to this day, she would have nothing to do with me. And pretty much still doesn't.
I dabbled with religion. Although I took on the Yoke of Christ at the suggestion of the Methodists, I attended services run by the Baptists, the Nazarenes, the Church of Christ, and the Disciples of Christ. There were no Presbyterians or Episcopalians in Southwest Little Rock. Indeed, the latter denomination was banned by local ordinance. So I didn't get a chance to dabble in those belief systems. And although Laura Stolzer was, and is, a Piskie who attended Trinity Cathedral downtown she wasn't too snooty about it. Laura's now in Jonesboro. They don't allow Episcopalians there either.
I dabbled in politics. I ran for Student Council and was destroyed. I gave a speech on behalf of George McGovern in civics class and was beaten up in bathroom by a hood named Dennis something. He was a hood but a socially conservative hood. He's probably doing talk radio these days.
Yes, as a young high school student I dabbled in many things. But I never dabbled in witchcraft unlike the Republican nominee for the seat in the goddamn United States Senate in Delaware.
And if this Tea Party madness gains further ascendancy in national politics, I may dabble in taking the New Zealand bar exam.
Where I intend to move.
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We had neighbors in Cloverdale who were Unitarian, which was the closest thing to space aliens we 72209 youth had ever seen. Paul, never move to New Zealand. That would be an unbearable loss to the Land of Opportunity.
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