Polycarp: Did you hear about the pilot who got grounded after a video got out on the Internet of him fooling around with a porn star while flying a helicopter over San Diego?
tmfw: Yes I did! I looked it up. The woman in question is an allegedly Swedish actress named Puma Swede.
Polycarp: This would be her stage name, yes?
tmfw: We may safely say that Puma Swede was not the name conferred unto her upon her baptism, no.
Polycarp: I am unfamiliar with her work.
tmfw: As am I. However, I do not believe that you will find her in any movies by the late Ingmar Bergman.
Polycarp: Probably not.
tmfw: What did the FAA ring the pilot up for anyway? I would opt for a strictly legal defense as I doubt that they can point to a regulation that specifically prohibits having sex with a porn star named Puma Swede while flying a helicopter.
tmfw: They probably fell back on what the FDIC relies on when it goes after a bank when the fastball ain't working. It alleges "unsafe and unsound practices."
Polycarp: Close. The FAA argued that he was "careless and reckless."
Polycarp: They said the pilot's attention was diverted from flying.
tmfw: I can see that.
Polycarp: He was unable to reach the controls while she was.....
Polycarp: That she could have injured him thereby rendering him incapable of flying.
tmfw: A stretch, though I concede that so called "unexpected turbulence" could have been exceedingly worrisome under the circumstances.
Polycarp: Here's my favorite.
Polycarp: They also charged him with "idle chatter" while flying.
tmfw: There probably wasn't much that was "idle" about it.
Polycarp: We are talking in the strict aeronautical sense of the phrase.
Polycarp: He plans on appealling. His defense was that since the video shows his hands on the controls, he was in control of the aircraft.
tmfw: That was his defense?
tmfw: That's not gonna work. They got him dead to rights on "idle chatter."
Polycarp: There you go. I gotta run. I suddenly have an interest in getting my pilot's license renewed.