Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Vox Populi: The Mall

Overheard at the Hallmark Store: A woman told her male companion " God, I can't pick out a graduation card after drinking."

Overheard by the down escalator: A skinny 14 year old girl yelling tearfully into her cell phone "He told me doesn't love me anymore! I mean what the fuck?"

Conversation with the women at the cologne counter at Dillards:

Me: A bottle of Herrera spray cologne please.

Young blonde type: I'll get that for you.

Gorgeous Middle Eastern Type: Herrera? That is old stuff. You need to buy the latest from Hooo Go Boss. It's been out 2 weeks.

Me: Women like Herrera.

GMET: Women Like Hoo Go Boss.

Me: It's been out two weeks! How the hell do you know that?

GMET: She leans forward suggestively. I like the new Hoo Go Boss. I am a woman, right? Hmmmmm?

Me: Really I like what I like.

She points to blonde who rings me up.

Blonde says under her breath: I really LIKE the old Hererra.

GMET puts a sample of the new HoooGo Boss in my bag. She points at my chest.

" Tulane Tennis. You come back to see me if you want to buy something new."

I guess that shit works with some people.

Overheard as I walked past the cosmetics counter at Dillards on my way out:

Girl who made her first commission: I just-like I overheard her saying -made my first commission!

Gay guy I went to high school with who evidently busted out of being the "artistic director" of a theme park in Hot Springs that went bankrupt: How much girl?

Girl: $31!!!

Gay guy I went to high school with: No lie..

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR with his tongue.


I cannot possibly make this up.

7 comments:

Polycarp said...

Straight men don't wear cologne.

tmfw said...

F*ck you. This one does.


Besides, you have no need of fragrance as you typically smell of gin.

Hugh said...

Maybe straight men who are also serial marriers don't wear cologne, but the rest of us straight guys do.

Polycarp said...

Now that gay marriage is legal and homophobia is less widespread I expect the new generation of homosexual men will find it easier to embrace their true selves.

PM said...

Oh, so that's what it is. Your musk I mean.

Bork

Anonymous said...

I like the old Herrera - in case it matters what an elderly female thinks.

You guys are cracking me up :)

lucy

Melissa said...

I give this pissing match an 7.3