Sunday, May 21, 2023

My Sunday Feeling

We have recent proof that there is no issue the gelatinous Ted Cruz will not demogogue.  Having evidently grown weary of pimping for Dr. Seuss, he has turned his sights, along with fellow Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn, to the burning pseudo controversy concerning trans “influencer” (whatever that means) Dylan Mulvaney, whom Anheuser-Busch adopted as a front person for Bud Light.     

At this point let me state that I am damn near 100% impervious to advertising, via whatever media.  There is no advertising, save for the exceedingly rare public service spot, that can create a "need" in me to spend money.  Now if I'm in the market for, say, golf shoes and I see that a golf store is running a sale on golf shoes, well that's useful information and I will go check it out.  Similarly speaking, I have a friend who drives a Buick which he recommends highly.  If I decide to get a new car I may check out Buicks. And I may visit the dealer in Bryant, Arkansas.  Not because i enjoy her stupid TV ads.  On the contrary, I find them annoying.  Especially the one with the kids in it.  But I will check out Everett Buick-GMC because I've never heard anything all that bad about them and I know for a fact that Suzie Everett gives a lot of money back to her community.  That doesn’t mean I’ll buy a car from her.  But I might be inclined to check her out.

People like me are in the minority.  They don't teach advertising and marketing in college because the industries are going broke.  

But this is why I never heard of Dylan Mulvaney until just the the other day when Kid Rock dropped a video of the beloved entertainer shooting up cans of Bud Light in protest.  I don't pay attention to ads and I don’t do Instagram.  So that was my first knowledge of the national crisis.

Anyway, Cruz and Blackburn have written something called the Beer Institute (who knew?) asking them to launch an investigation into Bud Light's advertising practices.  The theory is that the ads featuring Mulroney were an improper inducement to underage people.  They didn't accuse Bud Light of (Buzz word alert!) "grooming" but they probably wanted to.

What's going on here is neither sinister nor terribly complicated.  From what I read Bud Light wanted to expand its market beyond the caucasian frat boys and rednecks that traditionally buy that product.  Boy did they.  (Full disclosure.  I buy Bud Light.  I’m not making a statement other than keeping Joe out of what’s left of the Dixie.)      

I wonder if Cruz knows that Subaru pitched their cars almost exclusively to lesbians in the Eighties and Nineties.  (Another full disclosure.  I drive a Subaru.  But not for that reason.  I am not a lesbian. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.) 

In doing what little research I did for this post, I've learned that all of the carmakers are in serious competition for the LGBTQ buck.  Because gay folks buy cars!  Just as trans folk evidently buy beer.  And if Bud Light doesn't sell it to them, Miller Light will.    

Bidness is bidness.

Seeing as how the current head of The Beer Institute is the CEO at Anheuser- Busch, my guess is that Cruz and Blackburn will get told to pound sand.  And that will be that until the next manufactured controversy. 

So my advice to Ted is to sit back, chill out and to pound a couple of Bud LIghts along with that sand.  Maybe turn on an Astros game.  Just don't pay too much attention to the commercial interruptions.

Those advertisers are trying to sell stuff to anybody with a buck to spend.  Be they gay trans or whatever.  

Bidness is bidness.

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